There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
