I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
