it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
