so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
