alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize