i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Hippo gnu deer
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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