once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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