Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
