Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
