he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
