no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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