omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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