Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
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