I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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