He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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