My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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