you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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