I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
