Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
