Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
