So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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