I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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