You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
