theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
