everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
