I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
