I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
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I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
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My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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