Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
