I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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