Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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