Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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