Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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