So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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