no, he came in my armpit
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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