I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
