Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
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Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
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This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
is it fun? or sober?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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