I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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