and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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