It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize