i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize