I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
