I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
