She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
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It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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