dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
