i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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