I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
