her vagine was all disorganized.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
