FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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