Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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