Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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