bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
