The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
