That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
