So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
