Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
