Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
there was a trapeze. enough said
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
