I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
How's work?
Spinning.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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