I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize